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[22 Apr 2005|12:00pm]
[ mood | amused ]

New livejournal..

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Run along and die.... NOW! [21 Apr 2005|10:38am]
[ mood | cynical ]

Happy bunny is my idol.

I think today shall be a day of glow sticks,
A day of being roughly two and a half (in your mind, at least),
Frolicking and adventuring.
Pampering and playing.
Cuddling and giggling.
Being all giddy.
Hiding from parents.

I shotgun not being the light-show bitch.
I'll play a lil, but I will not be the bitch.

I never understood when Peanut sadly said..
"Nobody ever pampers me anymore."
...I thought everyone always got pampered.
Then, was a time of cuddle puddles and free love though.
And we had each other, the lil hippy-tized gutta sluts.
I get it now though. They try, and they don't know how.
Then, I get jaded and seclude myself.
I wanna do it with experienced tards, or not at all.

Forgive me, I'm jaded. I hate it.

I just miss them.
I miss everyone.
I didn't used to.
I do now.
(It's 'cuz I visited the gutta..)
I want a thumpa/klova light show.
I want to take out trees with Redzone.
I want time to bond with Peanut, chillin to psychopathic.
But I can't have any of it.
('cept the Peanut. SOMETIMES)
It's a major bummer.

I need to stop livin' in the past.
I need to stop doin' it in general.

PS. Thanks Kt and Ari for letting him know.

1 comment|post comment

Smokin, smokin, SOMETHIN SOMETHIN, JUST KEEP ON TOKIN! [21 Apr 2005|10:34am]
[ mood | flirty ]

Yesterday was a wicked sweet 420.

I smoked at 12 midnight, when it first turned 420 avec FAMILY!
(Kelly, Rich, Jimothy, and Lynz)
Went home, passed out.
Woke up, enjoyed the sun.
Cleaned my room the tiniest bit.
Got picked up by Andrew-darlin'.
Went to see Anthony.
Adventured to get papers.
Talked to Peanutty buddy.
Made with the peacin' out.
Met up with Sean.
Went and got Ryan and his new Maine friends.
(They're pretty chill, a lil immature.)
Went to the Gutter @ 4:20-ish.
Took a strole to the original spot.
Jumped on a mini-trampoline that was there.
Bounce-y bounce-y bounce-y. WEEEEE!
Left. Seperated from Sean.
Brought Ryan + Company back to the skatepark.
Fought off weird bugs.
Rolled up windows.
Got hot.
Rolled down windows.
Stopped at home.
Ate madd food.
Met back up with Sean.
Saw Kendra.
Found out she doesn't live where she used to
AND that her phone number hasn't changed.
(Now, I can call Sheri!!)
"Tonight, I'll be your naughty girl" < Andy's phone rang.
It was good news.
Andy was all happy-rific.
"Tonight, I'll be your naughty girl"
Same good news guy.
"Tonight, I'll be your naughty girl"
Yayed, and then went there.
Sat in room.
Met yellow mogu friend.
Got hit on by Pepe le Pu.
Another phone rang.. it was Chris'.
Chris got good news.
We decided to go for a drive.
We listened to Omar Santana - 420.
SUPER CRAZY ILL BOMB!! *Busts out to hardcore*
Dropped Chris off.
Headed to Justin's.
Dropped Sean at his car so he could get Calvin.
Made it to Justin's.
Went out back.
...Got scared by boys on trampoline.
Went to get off, realized the trampoline had attacked me with...
My bum was soaked.
Stood by fire, tried to dry out.
Talked to people.
Had a smirnoff apple.
Shared with Andy.
More trampoline.
Giggling with Andy and playing.
I couldn't pop him.
Got off.
Rain. Blah.
Sean's sandwich.. sub..
People left.
Futurama was pre'y sweet.
Eventually Andy and I left.
One more smoke session.
A lil Dazed and Confused.
*yawn* Bed.

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Up, down, all around. [17 Apr 2005|11:06am]
[ mood | lonely ]

He is levels upon levels of confusing,
but that's another story altogether.
It is simply not fair to make eyes at Becca,
when she is intoxicated, and you...

Boys are dumb sometimes.
(Girls are too, to be fair.)

It didn't really upset me too much,
Just made me uncertain of how to react at first,
but I couldn't help but return flirty gestures.
He was my cuddle buddy, gosh darnit!


Aside from that, the night was splendid.
Me, Calvin, Justin, Matt, Andy, and Sean all chilled.
We got tipsy. We put on Korny mix.
Andy and Sean went on a mission.
The drunken-est of the children were left alone,
in my room. I was one of them.

We rocked out wikkid hard to korny mix:

*points upward symbolizing how high the mountain is*
*points to floor*
*does a move similar to that of Fran in their once was a man*
To keep me from getting to you!
*Points at someone in room*

"There's a hero,
If you look inside your heart,
You don't have to be afraid,
Of what you arrrrrrrre..."
Justin, you are my hero. *snickers*

I'm going to prom with Matt, He asked me.
That is unless he wakes up today and has forgotten.
I suppose, We'll see...


I'm bored and thinking,
Kinda lonely.
Tummy hurts a bit..
Head too..


I'm lonely.
I want a boy.
Not HIM, or HiM, or hIm.

A boy with no strings attached,
A boy who always makes me laugh,
A boy who loves to dance,
A boy who'll hold my hand,
A boy who's as cute as can be,
A boy who's just right for me.

3 comments|post comment

Scars... It makes me think of him... Wish it didn't... [16 Apr 2005|01:35pm]
[ mood | Thinking... It sucks sometimes ]

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
and I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
and I can't help to fix myself
Your making me insane
All I can say is


I tried to help you once
A kiss will only vise
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last dance


I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
and I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause your drowning in the water
and I tried to grab your hand
and I left my heart open
but you didn't understand
but you didn't understand
You fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

Chorus x2

2 comments|post comment

[16 Apr 2005|01:20pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

...My nose hurts...
...my head too...

I'm feeling kind of whiney. Lame-ish.
I have to work tomorrow morning, which has interferred with Rocky Horror. Anger! I love Cam + Ryan + Pual.. and I don't get the joy of their company.. Ugh.

What will I do with my evening now?
...Probably see Andy, Sean, and Calvin...
...That seems to be the trio of gentlemen lately...

I need a shower.

Stayed at Krystal's last night.
Got tipsy. We were all whimpy though.

James is my favorite person to act tough with..
He's fun, he plays back, challenges me,... IT RULES!
He's such a lil booger, I love 'im.
Lately, I feel even closer with him than before.
He makes me giggle.
I have never noted him really in here.. soooo..
here is my affectionate mention of him.

Talked to Peanutty Buddy the other day.
Made me all glowy/floaty/happy...

I can't NOT flirt.
I can't NOT have feelings.
I can't NOT care.

He's very good at the part he plays,
He knows what he's doing..
*Claps for a second*


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[13 Apr 2005|04:03pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Haven't updated in awhile.

Doing senior show, something with katie.
singing please remember..

yadda yadda.

don't really wanna update..

DAMAG3 1NC [3:52 PM]: bbeeccaa
DAMAG3 1NC [3:54 PM]: u came into papa ginos
DAMAG3 1NC [3:54 PM]: u looked pretttyyy blazed
XXJoyXgasmXx [3:55 PM]: lmao, i was.
XXJoyXgasmXx [3:55 PM]: wikkid
DAMAG3 1NC [3:55 PM]: i no lol
XXJoyXgasmXx [3:55 PM]: i was all "whoa man, people"
DAMAG3 1NC [3:55 PM]: lolol i bet u didnt expect to see me
XXJoyXgasmXx [3:55 PM]: not at all. you startled me a bit, but I was happy to see you, it's been awhile, I never see you anymore.
DAMAG3 1NC [3:55 PM]: lol i no
DAMAG3 1NC [3:55 PM]: you look real good
XXJoyXgasmXx [3:56 PM]: are you mocking me?
DAMAG3 1NC [3:56 PM]: ....def not
DAMAG3 1NC [3:56 PM]: i almist didnt no it was u
XXJoyXgasmXx [3:56 PM]: lol, thanks, you're so sweet.
DAMAG3 1NC [3:56 PM]: lol no problem
DAMAG3 1NC [3:56 PM]: not sayin u wernt good lookin be4
DAMAG3 1NC [3:57 PM]: but def better since then
XXJoyXgasmXx [3:58 PM]: awww. i love you. you just made my day!

He's so sweet.

I'm off to eat, then chill with Sean.
Catch ya on the flip side!

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[05 Apr 2005|09:54pm]
[ mood | GRRR!! ]

I want to shank him.

Self-righteous bastard.


*stomps foot*

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[05 Apr 2005|09:38pm]
[ mood | jubilant ]

Went to school,
Same old thing.

Hung out with Calvin Amy and Sean.

We all had some cereal.
Climbed trees.

Waited for Justin.
He never came.

Tra la la.

I'm amused.
A lil sleepy.

I can't wait to get my taxes back.
UFO's! mmm.

I need to make my elmo pants.
Mrs. Bertman has agreed to paint an elmo on them.
*Jumps for joy*

I am tres excited.

I think I'm sneaking off with Andrew tonight.
Maybe out my window?
...Not because I need to, necessarily, more because..
"I'm gonna get my kicks, while I'm still young enough to get 'em."

"Is she gonna shimmy down the drain pipe?"

I'm such a rebel.

We should drive through the forest!

..and we shall.

Time is of the essence, I'm off!

1 comment|post comment

[04 Apr 2005|05:02pm]
[ mood | I finally have energy. WOOO! ]

I felt so lonely last night.
My bed was all empty, and I missed my drama sluts.


I love all of my new friends so much.
Cam, Steph, Fran, Kurt, Paul (although, I didn't get to know him that well, just jammed in desert rose with him, but I'LL FIX THAT!), Justin, Ryan, and Dave.
They make me giddy.

The play went well.
Friday night there were some mess ups
[i.e. when I sang the second verse to my song first,
and the first, second.]
Saturday I was such a pro.
Didn't screw up once.

The fun part of my weekend,
occured in the night-time though,
When the shows were finished with,
And it was time to PARTY!

Friday night I went to,
Unos first, avec cast members.
Divided into two tables.
I was sitting at the cool one! [I kid, I kid.]
Dave, Steph, Ryan, Cam, and I left the waiter a nice little note.
HUGE LIPS. "You can wait on us anytime. Love, -The Queen Team."
We proceeded to run out, HOT POTATO!!
We next headed to...
"Ryan Clavin's den of sin," [as Mr Evans dubbed it this morning.]
Cuddle Puddles,
And many people on a small child's bed.
"SHHHHH!", "I guess I just can't whisper."

Saturday night,
Rode up in Desert Rose, who didn't seem to enjoy the trip,
She took several digg-ahs, which made terrible noises.
Paul amuses me.
Steph saw my boobs.
I saw Steph's boob (SINGULAR).
[I don't know how everyone was unaware of the exchange of naked flesh. lol]
Got tipsy.
Much laughter.
Obnoxious group singing.
"I HAVE TO PEE! Can I pee out the window?!"
What more could a girl ask for?
...And that's before we even got to the show.
Couldn't sit altogether. Ryan grabbed my hand and led the way.
I took my initiation with a smile,
[even though some half-retarded guy named Frank was all up on my shizzle!]
I think I'll like it more when I know what to scream,
And when there is an absence of Frank.
The evening ended with Ryan, Kurt, Justin, and I retiring to my house.
Justin loved my ginormous sharebear.
He slept cuddled up with her.
Ryan, talking in his sleep--
"Mumble, mumble,...
Ewoks, strange little creatures.
You know it's true, you know it's true.
Mumble, daisies, mumble."
Everyone left except Kurt.
We got up, ate breakfast, then brought him to his car.

Hope I spend many more nights with this crowd.
It was butt-loads of fun.

Left school early today.
I needed sleep.
Must find something to do now,
Something that isn't math homework.

7 comments|post comment

[26 Mar 2005|08:06am]
[ mood | I have a wee headache. ]

Man, so many memories.

Most of which are from the vantage point of the couch.
Still got some keepers though.
'specially on my outside adventures.

Chilled for awhile.
Went on adventures.
Had a lil too much fun.
Got uber nauseous.
Sat down on the couch.
Fought the urge to puke.
Came back to the couch.

Everyone was so nice,
and I wanted to be talkative..
But when you get wikkid sick,
You just have to wait it out,
and do lotsa chillin',
otherwise I would have puked SO much more.

There was constantly someone seein' if I was havin' a good time.
Woulda been if I had chilled a quick minute on my outdoor adventures.
Couldn't though, had to go outside.

There was one point where Kurt, Fran, and Rachel were like
Thought about it and realized,
Standing up + lots of motion = bad.

Later, Kurt pulled me up again,
Such a good host, he was scared that I wasn't havin' a good time.
Slowed danced with me for a minute, 'til I explained my stomache wasn't quite right.
He was all understandin', and let me chill.

*lightin' first.
*tipsy game
*Slow dance
*Random instants where everyone would run somewhere,
and I would SLOWLY follow.

Ultimately, I'm glad I went.
And, If I did it again, I wouldn't have gotten so retarded...
...but the song was playing, and I couldn't resist.

2 comments|post comment

[25 Mar 2005|03:20pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I'm going to a Kurt party.

Isn't that weird?

Whateva, it'll be chill yo.

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Can we say awkward, children? Here, try it with me now. [23 Mar 2005|08:25pm]
[ mood | Wow, my face was red. ]

XXJoyXgasmXx [8:16 PM]: dude. i just died.
antipastle [8:16 PM]: why
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:16 PM]: of embarassment + awkwardness.
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:17 PM]: went to play practice, mom picked me up, dropped naomi off at her house, went to shaws..
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:17 PM]: then we stopped at blockbuster,
and coleman ran back out and was like, come inside, justin's inside, go say hi..
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:17 PM]: so i did..
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:17 PM]: i walked right in to him talking to colleen.
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:17 PM]: died.
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:18 PM]: said hi. hid... then peaced.. but not before I backhanded coleman right in the face cuz he said "oooo he likes her and you're jealous"
antipastle [8:18 PM]: O MAN
antipastle [8:18 PM]: that must have been bad
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:18 PM]: then my mom was like trying to be comforting by telling me i had no taste.
antipastle [8:18 PM]: was there like a stare down of death
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:18 PM]: wouldn't know. i ducked and dodged like a pro
antipastle [8:18 PM]: so u pulled a 007
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:19 PM]: went out, and that song by kelly clarkson was on.. so I bumped it.. and sapukood myself.. bled all over the leather.
antipastle [8:19 PM]: u shoulda wiped out your golden i and started poppin caps
antipastle [8:19 PM]: lol
antipastle [8:19 PM]: i whent to grab my lethers but all i could find was my wifes mittens
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:19 PM]: justin made this face like a wounded dear in headlights.
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:19 PM]: and i made a holy shit face
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:19 PM]: she made a what the fuck's going on face.
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:20 PM]: eyes to floor. walk quickly by. slightly open mouth. hello. RUN THE FUCK AWAY!
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:20 PM]: that's all my brain kept screaming..
antipastle [8:20 PM]: lol u should have jumped on collen and created holy matramony on the blockbuster floor
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:20 PM]: RUN RUN RUN RUN!
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:20 PM]: my legs moved uber slow tho..
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:21 PM]: it's like i'm over it, but that was still the *most* awkward moment i've had in a while.
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:21 PM]: i swear, if only i had a katana.. it would have gone so differently..
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:21 PM]: i would have walked in and sapukood myself.
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:21 PM]: death right there.
antipastle [8:21 PM]: lol
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:21 PM]: hush up bum face.
antipastle [8:21 PM]: only if u hade a ubber sword of katana death
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:22 PM]: i should have dealt with it differently.. like checked out her name tag.. "oh colleen is it? yeah, where's your emo section? I was planning on taking my own life and needed a movie to watch.."
antipastle [8:24 PM]: lol u have anything to recomend
antipastle [8:24 PM]: i know u help justin with that section of drama
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:24 PM]: lmao..
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:25 PM]: or maybe.. "aren't we the cutest couple ever? *golf claps*" ONCORE!
XXJoyXgasmXx [8:25 PM]: *encore
antipastle [8:26 PM]: lol
antipastle [8:26 PM]: then u pull a camera out of your ass for comical effect and ask for a group picture
antipastle [8:26 PM]: then put it on photo shop
antipastle [8:27 PM]: and write EMO PWN3D KIDS
antipastle [8:27 PM]: and all of u will have a look of DEATH
antipastle [8:27 PM]: on your faces
antipastle [8:27 PM]: BUN BUM BUMMNMNAAAAAAA

That pretty much says it all.

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Half eaten cookie and a glass of milk.. [23 Mar 2005|10:47am]
[ mood | nervous ]

Sitting next to my computer..
But not just any glass..
it's wicked sweet glass..
my favorite one actually..

Cookies and milk for breakfast.
Yum. Yum. Yum.
I love when I don't go to school.
...because I still haven't written my paper,
And I feel like butt.
It's pretty sweet.
Minus the feeling like butt.
What a pleasant coincidence,
Not feeling well on a day that I stayed home sick.
I thought I was fine this morning though,
When I was telling my mom I couldn't possibly go.
She knew I wasn't sick.
And now I really am.
Oh jooooooooygasm.
I think I might sleep some more.
And sleep.
And wake up.
And eat.
But I can't sleep anymore and that's why I'm up.
So probably won't work.

I really should write that paper.

10 pages.

None done.

Due tomorrow.


And I have play practice this evening.
Can't miss.
Play is not this Friday, but next.
Less than two weeks.
Almost, barely a week.
*Hides in fear*

What am I going to do?

Someone hold me.

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I love Nick.. [22 Mar 2005|09:12pm]
[ mood | Chillin, with my chill-o-mints ]

XXJoyXgasmXx [9:03 PM]: Lemme play the motivational speaker. Shall I?
KamakazyComissar [9:04 PM]: lol aculy im happy today
KamakazyComissar [9:04 PM]: but ok
XXJoyXgasmXx [9:04 PM]: Honestly, I'm not motivated enough to be a motivational speaker.. They're so into it.. I'm so.. well,.. not..
KamakazyComissar [9:05 PM]: lol true true aye neway how many guys can say they look bitch'n in a skirt :-)
XXJoyXgasmXx [9:06 PM]: You can definitely hold your head high.
KamakazyComissar [9:06 PM]: haha
XXJoyXgasmXx [9:07 PM]: Oh, and put your hand on your hips, and let your skirt be tossed gently about by the breeze.. a gleam in your eye.
KamakazyComissar [9:07 PM]: and bow around me first prize:-)
KamakazyComissar [9:08 PM]: lol what a classic
XXJoyXgasmXx [9:09 PM]: It shall be a motion picture one day, I shall see it so.
XXJoyXgasmXx [9:09 PM]: It'd be a cheap remake of braveheart porn.
XXJoyXgasmXx [9:09 PM]: Pretty sexy eh?
KamakazyComissar [9:09 PM]: yea
KamakazyComissar [9:10 PM]: "BraveHeart 2 Play my bagpipes"
XXJoyXgasmXx [9:10 PM]: Oh that was good. You have outdone yourself this time.
KamakazyComissar [9:10 PM]: :-)

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[22 Mar 2005|08:51pm]
[ mood | amused ]

All is right with the world tonight.

Because today rocked hard,

It was all mellow, and I had no play practice.

Naturally days with no play practice are always awesome.

On top of that though, I had a detention,

This should be the bummer part of the story,

Instead, it just gets sweeter,

Some kid totally threatened to blow up the school,

So what did the teachers do?

They freaked.


But to make a long story, a little less long, no detention.

So I got to make with the peacing out.

Chilled with Matt, Joey, and Sean-y boy...

Whilst I enjoyed the lovely spring day,


Ended up at my house.


Jammed some more.

Did my hair.

You guessed it, jammed just a little more.

Took the time to pick out my kandi.

(Gosh I was in a good mood.)

Went to Justin's.

Saw Ryan, Katie, Dave & Brandon, Calvin. In that order.

Came home.

Calvin drove me.

Pre'y sweet. (Brandon made funna the way I say pre'y sweet)

*Plots Brandon's demise*

How you say?

I only kidding.

Ate madd food to conteract my evenings' activities.

Am here.



Nick is so fun to talk to.

It's like worthwhile nonsense.

Kinda like with Dave C.

Different though.

So anyways, done meh meh meh'ing.

And yes, Ben, I do like to say meh,

Mrs. B totally got me uber addicted to the word.


G'night all.

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[21 Mar 2005|10:04pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Still a lil sad about it.
Can't help it.

More sad about the fact that it seems as if I will never be able to talk to me peanutty buddy again. It's fricken impossible to get ahold of him, very disheartening.


I think I was made to be emo,
and I've just realized today.


Bubbly, bouncy, happy, lil party kids don't get sad..


So yeah,
I think everything's gonna be cool with the play.
We'll see.


Skipped with Dave today.
I love Dave.
Must chill with him more.


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[20 Mar 2005|09:01pm]
[ mood | I've been a bad girl, spank me ]

dun dun dun..

no motivation..

here's my entry..

la dee da dee da..

I think I'm going to go watch Carebears bedtime stories.

-n sleep.


I got it all out.

I bitched and I whined, and I'm done.

Thank good golly gosh 'cuz I was getting tired of being so dramatic.

Want to go to a party.

Must memorize my lines for the play.

Have school tomorrow.


Need to write paper.

Didn't watch movie. SHIZZLE.

Night all, love you.

You say you still read this so,
Sorry, for the mean words.
I was angry and hurt, and I'm sure you know how that feels.
Let's be buddies again.

and Chicken Grease.

<3 *Becca* <3

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I hereby appoligize to anyone who has read ANY of my more recent posts. (Like All This Week.) [20 Mar 2005|01:04am]
[ mood | YAY! BECCA'S BACK! ]

I've just realized I'm a huge drama queen.
Sorry to all who had to listen.
Everything just happened while I was cracked out and PMSing.
So I went all crazy over nothing.
Life's too short.
I just needed to take a breath.
Everything is peachy keen.

Once again,

I guess, I just felt like I was taking crazy pills.
No more d-rugs for Becca. (errrr.. yeah...)
Peace homies.

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Michelle Branch Lyrics.. deal with it, it's a new kind of emo.. a girl power emo if you will... [19 Mar 2005|12:02pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

I don't know whose side I'm takin'
But I'm not takin' things too well
I can see inside you're achin'
But is it still too early for me to tell?

I try to help you out through the hardest of times
Your heart is in your throat and I'm speaking my mind
Though it looks as if it's over
I'm still not over you

'Cause I still like you like I did before
I know for sure that you still feel the same way I do
If only she knew
Whoa, if only she knew, oh

I try to let it go
but I don't know if I can take it
'Cause the way you looked at me
Made me see that I can't really fake it

I try to help you out through
the hardest of times
Your heart is in your throat and I'm speaking my mind
Though it looks as if it's over
I'm still not over you

'Cause I still like you like I did before
I know for sure that you still feel the same way I do
If only she knew

I know she loves you and I can't interfere
So I'll just have to sit back and watch my world disappear

I try to help you out through
the hardest of times
Your heart is in your throat and I'm speaking my mind
Though it looks as if it's over
I'm still not over you
Oh, I'm still not over you

'Cause I still like you like I did before
I know for sure that you still feel the same way I do
'Cause I will never ever walk away
I'll find a way
She could never like you like I do
If only she knew

If only she knew, oh yeah
Na na na na na na na na.

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